A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
