Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
