lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
