Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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