The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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