Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
