3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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