can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
