Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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