I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
