quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
