Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
