On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
