HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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