the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
