Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize