shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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