do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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