I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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