it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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