we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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