Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
