So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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