yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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