Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
This house was built for laser tag.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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