I hate all girls vehemently.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
