I CAN MOONWALK!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
