So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
vagina is talking i cant
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
