doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
