Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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