Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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