I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
