bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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