If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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