READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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