what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
