This is not my ceiling
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
