Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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