Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
