My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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