Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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