also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
