all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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