I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
