"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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