pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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