I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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