therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
