She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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