At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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