i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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