Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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