I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize