I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
