he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
