I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
