I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
