Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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