If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
4 words: hood of his car
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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