I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
