people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
