How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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